Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I teach High School...

last Friday was one of those days that makes you stop and say, "Wait, is this really my life? This doesn't actually happen to people who teach high school." Let me tell you, apparently it does.

While talking to my TA during fourth period a student ran up to my desk. Doing the potty dance she exclaimed, "I really need to go to the bathroom."

"ok, where are your bathroom passes?"

"I don't know but I really really need to go."

"alright, go to the bathroom and then when you get back find a pass and give it to me."

"But I don't know where the closest bathroom is."

I explained how to get to the restroom (across the small quad outside my room) and she left.

I was under the impression that she ran to the bathroom but a short time later another student approached.

"Ummm...we have a situation over here."

I went to talk to the table where this "situation" occurred.

As I walked up the original student whom asked to go to the restroom was sitting there. In a barely audible whisper I heard:

"I peed my pants"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! is all I could think. I responded that she can go to the nurse and call home so that she can get new clothes and such. To which she explained that she could not go because the back of her shirt was all wet. I gave her my personal sweatshirt to wrap around her waist and sent her on her way.

Now what? My floor and chair are covered in urine and I have a classroom full of kids that don't know what is going on and I don't want to embarrass this poor freshman any more than she is already. I call the office to get a janitor and then usher my class outside and around the corner so he can come in to clean without the class seeing.

Nobody was the wiser. The floor and chair were cleaned. Everything went on like normal but for the rest of the day in every period the only thing I could think was:

"ha ha ha that student has no idea what happened in the chair just a short time ago"

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Blood, Sweat and Beers

The title of this post is actually the name of the 10 mile trail run I completed last Sunday. The whole premise of the event it that you have a nice 10 mile run through the hiking trails of Auburn California and then everybody gets 2 beers and there is a huge party. Let's just say that this is not actually how my day went. But I need to start at the beginning, not the middle.

Many months ago my boss Allyson asked me to do a trail run with her called Blood, Sweat and Beers ( After looking at the website and the course I thought to myself, "You have got to be eff-ing kidding me if she thinks that I am going to do this!" I quickly replied "no" and went about my business.

Jump forward to last Saturday.

I am with my family at the Giant vs. Dodger game at Pac Bell park. I was there enjoying my family and the beauty that is San Francisco, when I got a message on my phone from Allyson. It said something to the effect of: Are you up for a challenge? I am going to do a run tomorrow in Auburn and I leave at 6:30 am if you would like to join me. I asked a couple questions then decided: How hard could it be?


I completed the course at 10.4 miles and it only took me 2 hours and 37 minutes. I drank 3 different runners goo and about a million liters of water/gatorade. I cried. I vomited 10 times. I incurred 2 charlie horse. I was so delirious after the run that I did not even recognize my high school Latin teacher (whom finished the same run in an hour and 20 minutes).

The next 2 days I could barely walk. I had literally run straight up a mountain then straight back down. Over and over again. It was the hardest physical activity I have ever done. I thought I was really going to die. Today is the first day I do not have massively huge amounts of pain.

I finished it. I don't want to do it again...
well maybe next year.

And by the way, I have no idea how anybody could have possibly even thought about drinking beer after an ordeal like that.