Saturday, December 7, 2013

Unemployed and Making Big Decisions

Strange things happen when you become unemployed.  First and foremost, you are immediately inundated with bills that come out of nowhere, people wanting you to sin-up/register for a million different things and of course there is no money to even cover the normal stuff so you are just stuck.  

I believe the premise that "people who are unemployed are lazy" is by and large a crock.  I haven't stopped moving the entire month and a half that I have been out of work.  And yet at the same time I don't really feel as those I have been getting much done really.  Somewhat depressing honestly, to think you are headed in the right direction and yet so swiftly be kicked off course through no fault of your own.  What a mess.

So now there are a lot of big decisions that need to be made.  But mainly you really just need to figure out, Where are we going?

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Baby it's Cold Outside

No. Seriously.  It is cold.  I realize that I live in California and anybody from anywhere east of Nevada is just shaking their head and laughing at me but the fact that it is 3:18 and the current temperature is 48 degrees...that is bad.  I mean they are honestly predicting snow on Saturday.  It doesn't snow here!!  And the worst part about the whole thing is that I have to run a marathon on Sunday.  HA!  

But of course this would be the weather for my 2nd marathon.  I mean the weather for the first was a monsoon (last year, same marathon: so much rain the streets were literally flooding).  My luck is just really fortunate in this manner.

Could you imagine if it was actually snowing as we were running in?  How awful would that be?!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

When There is just Too Much Time

I never really thought there would be too much time.  I mean seriously?  Who ever has enough time for anything?  When I was in college, it wasn't enough time for studying before a test.  Grade school was more time needed for lesson planning and thesis writing.  As I became a high school teacher and theatre advisor, there was never enough time for show productions or grading English papers.

And now...

Now I just have time.  Endless amounts of time to stew inside my head and, think.

It has been Almost a Year

I know.  I am a bit of a loser.  I have not really written anything for about a year.  But then it happened.  Yesterday I began to write again.  I wrote an entire children's story.  It is only a draft but I think I like it.  I LOVE the characters.  I need to fix an awkward part in the story but it will get there.

My life right now is a bit...interesting.  I took a big chance at the end of last school year.  I left my full time teaching career and took a position at a private industry job.  Flash forward five months.  I am unemployed.  Awesome.  

The world has a way of throwing you a curve ball when you least expect.  I made decisions about my life based on the best information I had at the time.  It has landed me in a place that is scary and causes anxiety.  What is going to happen?  Who knows.  My brain hurts just from thinking about it, and I have been thinking about it, a lot, for the past month.  What do you do know?  UGH.

Have you ever left completely lost and unsure about all things around you? My life is this spinning in a direction I never would have guessed.  

Now we wait. 

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Been A Whilte

Wow.  I haven't written in over a year.  So much has changed.  I have been busy for a very long time.  I will attempt to not be too verbose.

Biggest change:
My little sister is a warrior.  This year she has seen more hardship and obstacles.  She has been diagnosed with her third type of cancer.  Since the diagnoses she has been through chemo, her tumor metastasized three times its original size, her right leg was amputated and now she has to go back in for 18 more weeks of chemo.

I don't know how she does it.  I would be beyond terrified.  She is a wonderful person and is in my prayers daily.

Biggest Accomplishment:
I ran my first marathon.  In the middle of a hurricane practically.  It was the hardest thing I have done in a very long time.  I haven't been able to run since.  It was Dec. 2nd.  It took me 5 hours and 49 minutes.  The rain was so bad at points that my waterproof jacket was filling up with water instead of repelling the rain.  Some intersections were so flooded that I was running through calf deep water.

It was so hard but dude.  I. Ran. 26.2. MILES!  Dude! I bet I could do it better if it wasn't a torrential downpour.

Things have been going well, but it is a hard time at the school.  This year we have 2 new administrators.  It is getting difficult.  Things are changing.  Some for the good...some not so much.  It is an interesting ride.

Jt and I are doing great.  The 6 year mark is here in about a week or so.  I am so in love with him.  He is fabulous.  For christmas he bought be a keurig and a pair of the prettiest diamond earrings.  He is my favorite thing in the entire world.

Although a year has passed.  It has been a beautiful year and I am blessed to have more.  A rollercoaster of a year.  Hello 2013, let's get cozy.

Monday, July 11, 2011

A Real Dream

I am sitting in the coolest place I have ever been. I am also doing one of the most interesting things I have ever done. I am currently sitting in a broken wheel chair in the in a rehearsal space above the Globe stage. Shortly I will be on the actual stage! I have dreamed of doing something this big and now it is here. Does anybody ever actually think that their dreams are going to come true in this way? Do people really believe that as a small town teacher they will one day perform on the stage of so many other Globe actors?

I honestly don't know how I can even articulate the wonder that is inside of me. It is like this is bigger than me and this moment. It is unreal and wonderful. I am torn apart inside, in a good way.

How do we get to these points? How do we find ourselves in these situations? Is it a miracle? Is he looking down on us in his space? Is he pleased?

I am here. It is amazing. I can barely contain myself. I am almost in tears with excitement and wonder. This is a moment I will never forget. It will remain in my heart for all of time.

I am here. This is real.

Saturday, June 25, 2011


Everyday that you are gone my heart aches. I miss you with every fiber of my being. I am lonely without you and the house feels empty. Other dogs make me sad. They just aren't as good as you. I don't know if I will ever stop hurting. I do know that I love you. I miss you.

You will never leave my heart.