Some days feel an eternity long. Some mornings appear to pass in the blink of an eye. This morning I arrived to work about the same time as always. I began to prep for class and the next thing I realized it was almost time for my first group of students to walk in and I was no where near ready for them.
I don't know how some days seem to drag on forever while others pass in a moment. The things I find most disconcerting is when the day begins in a whirlwind and then slows down a couple hours later, to pass at the slowest rate possible. The mysteries of time will probably forever vex my mind.
Yet while I am dwelling and seemingly inconsistency of the time space continuum, I am left to day dream about escaping the worlds that being me warmth and comfort. I long to sit and absorb myself in another's problems and issues. I want to escape that which is around me always and delve into the unknown.
Is there a way I could simply stay home and read books all day every day? Will somebody pay me to do this? or really simply pay my student loans while I read? Either way I desire to escape the mundane and live in a world of fiction.
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
I read a lot. I have to re-read a lot for my job though. In 2015 I read 17 novels. Some were for school and required annotating (marked with an *).
Here is the list of books I read during the course of 2015:
Here is the list of books I read during the course of 2015:
- The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn Mark Twain*
- Heart of Darkness Joseph Conrad*
- Night Circus Erin Morgenstern
- Go Set a Watchman Harper Lee
- Storyteller Jodi Picoult
- Lone Wolf Jodi Picoult
- The Things They Carried Tim O'Brien*
- Still Alice Lisa Genova
- Wild Cheryl Strayed
- Why Not Me Mindy Kaling
- Nectar in a Sieve Kamala Markandaya
- Things Fall Apart Chinua Achebe*
- Humans of New York: Stories Brandon Stanton
- The Shack Wm. Paul Young
- Farewell My Concubine Lillian Lee
- Jane Eyre Charlotte Bronte*
- a nervous wreck faking fine Dakota Wint
The annotated novels took much longer to read than the others. Although this is the case, hands down Jane Eyre is the best novel I have ever read. I love it. I love everything about it. I am literally obsessed. I am currently teaching this masterpiece in my senior English classes. I get to relive the wonder countless times.
I am already a good way through my first 2016 novel, Little Bee Chris Cleave. I am captivated. Although the beginning of this year has been particularly rocky, I at least have the love of literature to maintain my sanity.
Monday, November 16, 2015
Everybody thinks they can do my job. Everybody thinks since there is so much scheduled time off, my job must be easy. The things is...it is not. It isn't easy. And chances are you could not do it, unless you too have been trained in education.
Just because most everybody has gone to school and been in a classroom at some point does not qualify most everybody to be a teacher. I have been in a variety of court houses but I don't claim to know how to be a judge or lawyer. I have been in a myriad of hospitals but I would never consider myself capable of being a doctor or nurse. I have even experienced six different surgeries. I guarantee I cannot be a surgeon.
So why is it that everyone believes they are capable of being a teacher?
My job is hard. I am tired. I am sorry you think you could do it better but I doubt it and I also doubt your would survive 180 days with over 200 teenagers every day. It is simply hard.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
I know every career has professional development and trainings. I don't particularly know how often others need to attend trainings but I am fairly positive it isn't every few months. I am constantly in training as a teacher. Today is the fifth professional development I have attended since August. That is more than one PD a month. If I only teach about 20 days a month missing one to two days is very significant.
WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OUR STUDENTS AND TEACHERS?!
Isn't is better for the students to be in class with their trained and certified teachers? Wouldn't students learn more if they were given more instructional minutes instead of less?
Beyond the 5 days of training, students have also tested a total of 7 other days. Meaning, about half a month, so far this year, has been sacrificed and stolen from the students and their understanding. Why is this ok?
According to a recent tweet from President Obama, testing needs to be reduced and eliminated when not appropriate for true assessment. Students should be in the classroom and they should have educated teachers there to instruct and engage students.
I am passionate about the education of my students. I find I am more concerned about their education than the students. It is painful to be a teacher. I just want to be in my classroom and teach my students.
Friday, August 21, 2015
Teaching any controversial text is difficult. Teaching a controversial text in a school that is comprised of mostly minority students is an extremely delicate process. I have come to find the community where our school resides in an area that has a flashy exterior, but a troubled underbelly. Many of our students are very low income, homeless, gang members, and dealing with more than many adults face daily. Most of my students also don't have a solid educational support system at home. Each of these issues combine to increase tensions and place students on edge when dealing with sensitive material.
Tensions rose very quickly when students were assigned to read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. I was somewhat appalled by a phone call I received where a parents voiced concerns over book choice. This parent was concerned that Huck Finn contained derogatory and harsh commentary of African Americans. The parent was concerned about their student's feelings and self image as the class discusses such inflammatory material. My favorite remark from the parent was: "It is fine and good for a WHITE kid to read Huck Finn but this novel is seriously degrading to all your black students."
Has this parent even read Huckleberry Finn?!
Mark Twain was an innovator of language, dialect, and social reform. Twain argued against the societal views of 1840. As Huck continues down the Mississippi River he is grappling with the pulls of an 1840 "civilized" society and his own moral compass of human decency.
Mark Twain used The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn as a way to show the world how to treat other people. Twain fought against the societal norm of slavery and degradation. Although we, as a world community, still have SO MUCH to do to truly eradicate racism and defeat the ignorance that reigned in our nation, Twain demonstrates just how far we have come from the time where slavery and racism was rampant everywhere.
Twain used his novel to "tweet" to the world the significance of accepting others and finding the humanity of individuals, despite societal norms and ignorance.
Monday, July 27, 2015
I have yet to figure out how to perfectly deal with my anxiety and depression within my everyday life. Some days are fantastic and I have no issue; other days it takes all the power within my being to make it all the way through the day. There are times when I cannot even get dressed or function in the same room as others. I can literally feel the anxiety building within me and yet I am helpless to do anything to stop the problem.
I am currently sitting in another educational summer training. As I listen to others talking around me I can feel the anxiety boiling under my skin. I can feel my heart racing and my hands beginning to shake. How can I possibly handle being here all day for the next three days?
Some days things are ok. Other days I am helpless to stop the runaway train of my emotions.
Today is a runaway train day.
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Remember when I said that "Summer Vacation" was a misnomer? Well for the last few days I have been sitting in a conference room in training more than 8 hours a day. It is painful. Day one I thought was never going to end. As the days continued to unfold, the workshop became better and better. Despite the fact there were a few helpful aspects, spending four days in a hotel, away from my family was painful.
I just want to go home.