Monday, July 27, 2015

Dealing with my Anxiety & Depression

I have yet to figure out how to perfectly deal with my anxiety and depression within my everyday life.  Some days are fantastic and I have no issue; other days it takes all the power within my being to make it all the way through the day.  There are times when I cannot even get dressed or function in the same room as others.  I can literally feel the anxiety building within me and yet I am helpless to do anything to stop the problem.

I am currently sitting in another educational summer training.  As I listen to others talking around me I can feel the anxiety boiling under my skin.  I can feel my heart racing and my hands beginning to shake.  How can I possibly handle being here all day for the next three days?  

Some days things are ok.  Other days I am helpless to stop the runaway train of my emotions.  

Today is a runaway train day.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Remember when I said that "Summer Vacation" was a misnomer?  Well for the last few days I have been sitting in a conference room in training more than 8 hours a day.  It is painful.  Day one I thought was never going to end.  As the days continued to unfold, the workshop became better and better.  Despite the fact there were a few helpful aspects, spending four days in a hotel, away from my family was painful.  

I just want to go home.