Things are changing.

You know those times in your life where everything is starting to change because you are actually trying to make them change? There is excitement, hard work, anxiety...but mostly, anticipation. It is like when you are in school and you are working so hard to get an education and finish and then as it approaches you start freaking out: "ah! what the heck am I going to do now?" "well I didn't actually think this day would get here!?!" "YAY! I AM DONE! I AM DONE! oh no wait!!!! I don't get financial aid anymore?! CRAP!"

I have been working hard to see changes. Changes within myself, changes in my lifestyle, changes in my relationships that mean the most to me. Interestingly enough I am actually starting to see some of those changes. Now granted they are just small things, but things I am excited about nonetheless. I am sure some of them are things that most people would never even notice really. Example 1: when I stand with my feet shoulder width apart now, my thighs don't touch. I mean I am sure most of you don't know what I am talking about because most of my friends are gorgeous and tiny, but to me this is HUGE! I have been dealing with weight ever since that magical day when I was 11 and puberty decided to hit with avengence bringing a monthly gift of grief. I have been working hard at working out at least 5 days a week, sometimes twice a day. It is hard, but it is working. I am changing. It brings me joy. Example 2: Over the past 2 years I have grown to LOVE golf. I have never been great mostly because I don't have time to practice ever, but also because I don't have a ton of upper body strength. Lately, I have been hitting all of my clubs longer, straighter, and higher. I have not been practicing a ton more or anything but a simple tip from an observer and the working out to build strength, have helped so much.

It is interesting. I think most people are afraid of change because they are not the ones instigating that change. I say, "If you don't like life the way it is, figure out a better option and make the change."

I am.