I have been crying for an insanely large number of hours. I think I have been crying straight for about 7 hours now. I know that there has been ten minutes here or there that I was not crying but as a whole...no I have been a tear laden mess. I have hit is again. I have hit the bottom of the bottom and I cannot help but sit here and cry mercilessly.
Why did I do it? Why did I open myself up again after I said I wouldn't? All I did was open myself up for heartache and misery. I don't think love actually exists. If it did truly exist nobody would be sitting here feeling the way I feel. Nobody would hurt this much after falling in love.
I wish I could take it back. I wish i could take back all of the time, effort, kindness, laughter and love I ever felt for him. I wish it would all just disappear and the world would go back to the way it was before my heart was broken into a trillion million tiny pieces for the second time. I wish it would all go away back to before it ever existed, back before I was hurt...again.